I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
