i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
