I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
