You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Someone shit on the floor
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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