can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
