He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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