I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
