I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
