The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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