I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
