shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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