Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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