Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
