her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
