Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
