I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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