Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
