): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
