you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
