so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
