Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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