I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
