Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
