i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
