you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
