i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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