he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
