Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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