Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
