he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
time to smoke my breakfast
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sarcasm needs its own font
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
