We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
