i jhust puked up my retainher.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
