Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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