Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
