You're so nebulous sometimes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
