I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
