No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just found a bag of teeth...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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