Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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