I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
