and i looked up. we had an audience...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
