Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
