I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
