I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
