She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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