I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
