you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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