I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
