And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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