Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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