Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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