if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
