Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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