Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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